How do you develop effective communication skills in the workplace? To address this question, I will share with you one true event of my life. A few years ago I worked at one of the higher institutions in Melbourne, Australia, doing some research. One day, my supervisor at work asked me to stay late for the second time in a row, in order to finish the urgent work presentation she had to do the following day. I was already very busy with my own work, as I had coursework that I had to finish for the following day, but at the same time, I didn’t want to let her down. I did not express openly my thoughts about my extremely busy schedule, so I just obeyed her order and stayed very late that evening in order to finish the tasks. I felt confused as my body was tired, saying “no” to me, whereas my mind was sending me the opposite message –that I had to finish the work. I went home very tired, I was completely drained by the end of the night. Contemplating this experience, I came to the realisation that I did not communicate effectively with my supervisor, as I was using a passive communication style. I also came to the conclusion that I had to learn how to communicate effectively.
Q: What it means to communicate effectively in the workplace?
Assertive communication is an effective style of communication in which individuals clearly express their beliefs, feelings, opinions and thoughts in an open and respectful manner that doesn’t violate the rights of others. These individuals value themselves, their time, as well as their emotional, spiritual and physical needs and are able to meet these needs while being respectful of the rights of others. Their facial expressions and actions fit with their spoken words. They are firm but polite, have a clear message, expressing their boundaries in a calm manner with confidence, while they are highly respectful of themselves and others.
Q: How can we become assertive communicators?
Assertiveness is a skill and like any other skill, is something you can develop and master with practice even if you are unused to being assertive. To communicate assertively, you need to learn to express verbally your own feelings in the communication, use “I” statements, and avoid blaming others for your feelings and actions. Here is a handy sentence structure to enable you to communicate assertively:
- First, you describe the other person’s action or the event of concern in a purely factual way.
- Use “I” statements to describe your own feelings in response to the above action or event. For example: “I feel/I felt sad, angry, hurt, frustrated…”
- Next, describe your interpretation of the event and the reason why you feel the way you do. For instance: “I felt this way because…” Then, you can offer an alternative that better meets your needs whilst not infringing on the needs/rights of the other person in the future. For example: “And what I would like in the future is…” or “What I would prefer is…”
To communicate effectively at your workplace, you can use the following sentence structure:
“When you didn’t respond to my suggestion in the meeting, I felt hurt and angry because it seemed that you did not value what I had to say and what I would like in future is to be given space to express suggestions and ideas. Thank you for listening to me.”
Find more about how to communicate effectively in the book “Another Way of Living” by Snezhana Djambazova -Popordanoska MD, PhD.
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